chibimonnie

Check out Dr. Fantastique's Show of Wonders magazine Kickstart project and help bring the magazine to print. Not familiar with the zine, then amble over to Dr. Fantastique's Show of Wonders. The zine includes happenings, music, reviews, stories- and (for my writerly type readers) is taking submissions!

What first grabbed my attention, though, was a call for submissions to Fantastique Gearworks, an imprint that publishes LGBTQ stories. Awesome, right? I've had a piece sitting around for years in dire need of revisions, but just couldn't find the right angle. I'm thinking I might give it a steampunk revamp. We'll see how it goes.

Supernatural's season 7 premiere rocked my socks! I knew they'd rally from the season 6 finale. I think this one episode was better written than the entirety of season 6.

( SPOILERS )

I had forgotten that anxiety attacks can be as sneaky as ninjas. I was driving to the dojo this evening, various thoughts floating through my brain, when one in particular began to flail: WRITING! Which led to GRAD SCHOOL! Which led to THESIS! Which, in turn, led back to WRITING! So then, all the other troublesome thoughts joined in: DATING! CAREER! CAR! FINANCES! ECONOMY! GRAD SCHOOL! THESIS! WRITING! Needless to say the rest of the drive (through rush hour traffic on streets undergoing repair) was awful. By the time I made it to the dojo my head was pounding, I was nauseous, blood pressure was through the roof, and I was on the verge of tears. I told Pat that I wouldn't be staying, turned around and drove back home.

I am, once again, questioning my life. What the fuck am I doing at Prudential? Can I leave? Should I leave? I've taken on ass-loads of new responsibilities but am not being compensated accordingly. However, the economy is in the shitter and is going to take years to recover. Am I going to be stuck humping a corporate job, barely making ends meet? I put my dreams on hold for the sake of practicality and now I can't even remember what those dreams were. What are my dreams now?

I put my toes back in the dating pool and I'm ready to run off again. Why? Because I'm terrified of meeting somebody I'll care about. I am so scared of falling in love and having my heart ripped out of my chest again. I am such a coward.

A couple of episodes of How I Met Your Mother later and I feel calmer. No tears and no racing heart anyway. But I feel crappy about missing aikido tonight. I'll be busting my ass on Sunday morning, that's for sure.

Today marks the official end of Don't Ask Don't Tell. Beginning today lesbians and gays can serve openly in the US military. We still have a long way to go toward equality, but this is one step in the right direction.

10 Simple Postures That Boost Performance at PsyBlog.

The article states, "We tend to think of body language as something that expresses our internal states to the outside world. But it also works the other way around: the position of our body also influences our mind." It's an interesting list. Take #7 for example:

7. And gesture for understanding

Gestures aren't only helpful for persuading others, they also help us think. In a study of children, Cook et al. (2007) found that children who were encouraged to gesture while learning, retained more of what they learnt. Moving our hands may help us learn; more generally we actually seem to think with our hands.

Real life story: In 9th grade English class Mr. Chapman made me sit on my hands once while giving an answer. I couldn't get the words out. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but I kept tripping over my words. He then allowed me to release my hands. As the words flowed, my hands flew through the air.

I talk with my hands all the time. Even when I'm on the phone, one hand is moving. Various people have remarked on it over the years. And sometimes a gesture will be so amusing that I'll be asked to repeat what I said just so that I'll repeat the accompanying hand movement. The more excited or upset I am the grander the gestures.

Yesterday Netflix's CEO Reed Hastings announced that Netflix would be splitting into two sites: Netflix for Streaming and Qwikster for DVDs. Hastings tries to appear humble, but just ends up sounding arrogant and pandering. I joined Netflix because of convenience and pricing. First they upped their prices, but I stuck and adjusted my rental plan. Now, they're splitting their services. So, instead of paying once for services; I'll be paying twice AND I'll have to visit two different sites. See ya Netflix. I've been thinking about getting Hulu Plus, but didn't want to pay for it and Netflix. Now that I'm rid of Netflix, I'll just shift over to Hulu Plus.

I keep hearing about the importance of making a Five Year Plan (primarily from my dad). It's something I struggle to do. And then while driving home from the grocery store this morning it hit me. My life's goals aren't tangible. I don't strive for things like social status, material wealth, or a position of power. When I'm my grandparents' age, I want to look back on a life filled with joy, freedom, and experiences. I want to have stories to tell, not money to count. That's not to say that I don't recognize the need for a certain amount of money; there are bills to pay after all. But beyond paying the bills, most of what I want doesn't cost money. And of the things I do want, what I do I really need? Family, friendship, learning, tranquility- none of these cost a dime and I already have them. I could die today with no regrets and say that I lived a fulfilling life.

Tonight was my first night of aikido. It kicked my ass in all the right ways. The class is mixed levels with the more advanced students pairing up with the n00bs to spar. Sensei demonstrated what he wanted us to do, then we were off! My first partner was Pat, a woman about my height. She walked me through the motions step-by-step and Patty also stepped in to help. I also paired up with Eric and John. Each had their own style of demonstrating, but they were all so very patient. I was a little worried that working like this with men would be an anxiety trigger, but not even a twinge! I felt challenged by the lessons, but not intimidated. It's the kind of challenge that calls you back. Looking forward to Thursday's class!

I don't know how many of you heard about the shooting in Buckingham the night of the hurricane, but that happened down the street from where I grew up. I knew Carrie Ruehl, her mother, and her younger sister Emily. We waited at the bus stop together in elementary and middle school. Carrie was a few years ahead of me in school, but she was always nice. This kind of thing just doesn't happen in Buckingham. It's one of those wealthy, uptight suburbs. Or, at least it was. This bastard. was Carrie's ex. He shot her, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's 10 year old son down in VA. Then the fucker came up here and shot Mrs. Ruehl. Mr. Ruehl died several months ago. Now Carrie and her mom are dead. I heard about the shooting yesterday, but only today learned the victims' identities. I can't wrap my head around this one.