chibimonnie

Speaking Out: Sharing My Story

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 09:49:22 GMT

Old anxieties are bubbling up, along with pain, humiliation, anger, and bewilderment. This time seven years ago I was raped by a friend. This year, though, I refuse to let that attack break me again. This year I'm taking all of that pain and turning it into something useful. This year I'm speaking out for my rights and the rights of every woman in this country. It's only March and we've already seen so many attacks on women's health and reproductive rights. Republican lawmakers want to force us to live with the consequences of that attack. They want to take away our choices. They want to turn doctors into rapists. These men who are taking away our choices are oblivious to the prevalence of rape. I wonder if they're even acquainted with the statistics? But, then again, how powerful are statistics really? They're just numbers. What these lawmakers need to see are faces. They need to hear our stories. They need to see that the numbers are true stories. Here's my story. What's yours?

Like an Ice-slick Canadian Road

( 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape. )

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PA HB 535 "Year of the Bible"

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:20:36 GMT

The PA General Assembly voted unanimously to declare 2012 the "Year of the Bible". Freedom of religion also means freedom FROM religion. No state has the right to promote one religion over another. I don't begrudge anyone their beliefs or their religious texts, so please don't begrudge me my right not to believe as you do. Please sign the petition and repost if you, too, find this a violation of your rights.

Repeal PA state-sponsored "Year of the Bible" http://t.co/HefWyOSs

THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE RESOLUTION No. 535

Session of 2012

INTRODUCED BY SACCONE, DENLINGER, STERN, AUMENT, BAKER, BLOOM, BROOKS, ELLIS, EMRICK, FLECK, GILLEN, GROVE, HAHN, HENNESSEY, HESS, KAUFFMAN, F. KELLER, KILLION, KRIEGER, MAHONEY, MAJOR, MALONEY, MARSHALL, MILLARD, MUSTIO, OBERLANDER, PAYNE, PAYTON, RAPP, READSHAW, REESE, ROCK, SIMMONS, SONNEY, STEVENSON, SWANGER AND TALLMAN, JANUARY 23, 2012

INTRODUCED AS NONCONTROVERSIAL RESOLUTION UNDER RULE 35, JANUARY 23, 2012

A RESOLUTION

1 Declaring 2012 as the "Year of the Bible" in Pennsylvania.

2 WHEREAS, The Bible, the word of God, has made a unique

3 contribution in shaping the United States as a distinctive and

4 blessed nation and people; and

5 WHEREAS, Deeply held religious convictions springing from the

6 holy scriptures led to the early settlement of our country; and

7 WHEREAS, Biblical teachings inspired concepts of civil

8 government that are contained in our Declaration of Independence

9 and the Constitution of the United States; and

10 WHEREAS, Many of our great national leaders, among them

11 President Washington, President Jackson, President Lincoln,

12 President Wilson and President Reagan, paid tribute to the

13 influence of the Bible in our country's development, as

14 exemplified by the words of President Jackson that the Bible is

15 "the rock on which our Republic rests"; and

- 1 -

1 WHEREAS, The history of our country clearly illustrates the

2 value of voluntarily applying the teachings of the scriptures in

3 the lives of individuals, families and societies; and

4 WHEREAS, This nation now faces great challenges that will

5 test it as it has never been tested before; and

6 WHEREAS, Renewing our knowledge of and faith in God through

7 holy scripture can strengthen us as a nation and a people;

8 therefore be it

9 RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives declare 2012 as

10 the "Year of the Bible" in Pennsylvania in recognition of both

11 the formative influence of the Bible on our Commonwealth and

12 nation and our national need to study and apply the teachings of

13 the holy scriptures.

- 2 -

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Heartbreak Update and Other Things

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 12:14:06 GMT

John and I got back together about a week after the break up. I laid down some conditions this time, though. He has been making an effort to be more communicative and is seeing a therapist. We had a lovely weekends together over Christmas and New Year's. Last weekend we went hiking at Pennypack Ecological Trust.

I think that's the last of the mild weather we're going to see for awhile. :( I think I'm going to retire somewhere warm. This cold weather is getting more difficult to deal with every year. I find I'm becoming less and less social the colder is gets. I want to hibernate until March!

All this unsocial time has left me with more free time. I'm putting it to good use by picking up my Buddhist studies again. I recently picked up The Lotus Sutra translated by Gene Reeves. I must admit to a fair amount of trepidation. The Introduction alone is pretty dense. I've also begun reading How to See Yourself As You Really Are by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, a far more approachable book!

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Another Christmas Heartbreak

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 11:03:55 GMT

I'm single again. Things were going along swimmingly and he suddenly "realized that we're too damn different." He said that I "deserve someone better." Well, then, I guess I do. I deserve someone who isn't going to obsess about our differences. He broke up with me over text because he "didn't want to hear me cry." Coward.

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Recipes: Chili, Roasted Potatoes, Spinach Casserole

Sat, 12 Nov 2011 13:52:52 GMT

I've had some requests for my recipes so here are the highlights from the last week or so.

( Vegetarian Chili (to which the omnivorous can add meat) )

( Roasted Red Potatoes )

( Spinach Casserole )

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Let us all speak up!

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:44:41 GMT

My great-uncle Tony is a really cool man (we're certainly closer on the political spectrum than my grandfather and I are!). He sent me the e-mail below:

Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes about the debt ceiling:

"I could end the deficit in 5 minutes," he told CNBC. "You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election."

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only
3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, e-mail, cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

1. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.
Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S.) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!!

If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete. You are one of my 20+.. Please keep it going.

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How My Week Went from Crap to Shiny

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 13:26:10 GMT

This week sucked. I got reamed out by agents several times, was handling all of my work plus my colleague's who was out. Also, I found out that my cousin, Christiana Fesmire was murdered. She went missing over the summer. Her killer has been arrested, but her body still hasn't been found. It's a pretty messed up story. Apparently she had been working as an escort and when her parents found out they disowned her. She was killed that very same night. I just can't wrap my head around this. And in other family news my deceased uncle's ex-wife had some sort of mental breakdown. Their sons are now staying with other relatives. It's been one hell of a week.

It hasn't been all crap, though. Last night was date #2 with John. We went to New Hope and had dinner at Fran's Pub. We spent the next several hours wandering around the town, looking out at the river, talking, and kissing. The last two nights have been magical. I keep pinching myself to be sure that I'm not dreaming. I mentioned something along those lines to John and he said, "Maybe it's just our time." I'm looking forward to seeing what grows between us and where this goes.

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Eee!

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 01:09:28 GMT

Went on a first date tonight. It was awesome! Had dinner at Bonefish Grill and split a yummy dessert. We talked about so much. Even had a few long moments of silence and none of them were awkward. He's not my usual type- not a geek or an academic. He's in construction, a bricklayer. Very outdoorsy. Also a total gentleman and very sweet. Looking forward to our next date!

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Things that make you go Hmmm

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 01:59:28 GMT

Last night I spent some time with my parents. I mentioned that I might go down to Philly to join OccupyPhilly. Mom then warned me about "allying [my]self with those weirdos." Ironic considering the generation she came from. I imagine her parents said much the same thing about the sit-ins and protests of the 60s.

While my parents are not exactly in the top 1%; they're certainly in one of the higher grossing percentages than most people. But Dad is a small business owner and he's getting the shaft. Gov't is so busy looking out for Big Business interests that small business owners like my dad have no one looking out for them. Which is unfortunate. I would love to work for someone like my dad. His employees are family and their families are his family. He, of course, has to keep profitability a priority (business would sink without that) but it's not his only priority. People are people, not ID numbers in a database. He knows each and every one of his sales people, their spouses, and their dependents. He knows that there are a lot of people depending on him keeping the boat afloat. With each business decision he makes he keeps those people in mind. I've never once heard Dad utter the phrase, "It's business, nothing personal." Because unlike massive corporations, small business owners like my dad recognize that it's impossible to truly separate the business from the personal. All business decisions have an impact on personal lives- from livelihood to work/life balance. Too bad Big Business can't remember that, too.

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An Open Letter to SPN Fandom

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 12:20:36 GMT

Dear Fandom,

I've seen a lot of ranting and raving in the wake of Friday's episode. Ladies, what's the #1 thing we've learned about this show? Things are rarely what they appear to be, especially if a character is possessed by a powerful being.

( Spoilers )

In summary, take a deep breath and give the story a chance to unfold before going ape-shit about what might or might not have actually happened.

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SPN S07 E02

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 12:55:38 GMT

( SPOILERS )

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Kickstart Steampunk

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 14:23:44 GMT

Check out Dr. Fantastique's Show of Wonders magazine Kickstart project and help bring the magazine to print. Not familiar with the zine, then amble over to Dr. Fantastique's Show of Wonders. The zine includes happenings, music, reviews, stories- and (for my writerly type readers) is taking submissions!

What first grabbed my attention, though, was a call for submissions to Fantastique Gearworks, an imprint that publishes LGBTQ stories. Awesome, right? I've had a piece sitting around for years in dire need of revisions, but just couldn't find the right angle. I'm thinking I might give it a steampunk revamp. We'll see how it goes.

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In Which I Flail and Squee

Sat, 24 Sep 2011 14:10:52 GMT

Supernatural's season 7 premiere rocked my socks! I knew they'd rally from the season 6 finale. I think this one episode was better written than the entirety of season 6.

( SPOILERS )

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Sneak Attack

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 23:49:22 GMT

I had forgotten that anxiety attacks can be as sneaky as ninjas. I was driving to the dojo this evening, various thoughts floating through my brain, when one in particular began to flail: WRITING! Which led to GRAD SCHOOL! Which led to THESIS! Which, in turn, led back to WRITING! So then, all the other troublesome thoughts joined in: DATING! CAREER! CAR! FINANCES! ECONOMY! GRAD SCHOOL! THESIS! WRITING! Needless to say the rest of the drive (through rush hour traffic on streets undergoing repair) was awful. By the time I made it to the dojo my head was pounding, I was nauseous, blood pressure was through the roof, and I was on the verge of tears. I told Pat that I wouldn't be staying, turned around and drove back home.

I am, once again, questioning my life. What the fuck am I doing at Prudential? Can I leave? Should I leave? I've taken on ass-loads of new responsibilities but am not being compensated accordingly. However, the economy is in the shitter and is going to take years to recover. Am I going to be stuck humping a corporate job, barely making ends meet? I put my dreams on hold for the sake of practicality and now I can't even remember what those dreams were. What are my dreams now?

I put my toes back in the dating pool and I'm ready to run off again. Why? Because I'm terrified of meeting somebody I'll care about. I am so scared of falling in love and having my heart ripped out of my chest again. I am such a coward.

A couple of episodes of How I Met Your Mother later and I feel calmer. No tears and no racing heart anyway. But I feel crappy about missing aikido tonight. I'll be busting my ass on Sunday morning, that's for sure.

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DADT is dead!

Tue, 20 Sep 2011 10:22:57 GMT

Today marks the official end of Don't Ask Don't Tell. Beginning today lesbians and gays can serve openly in the US military. We still have a long way to go toward equality, but this is one step in the right direction.

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Cool Article on Body Language

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 22:23:59 GMT

10 Simple Postures That Boost Performance at PsyBlog.

The article states, "We tend to think of body language as something that expresses our internal states to the outside world. But it also works the other way around: the position of our body also influences our mind." It's an interesting list. Take #7 for example:

7. And gesture for understanding

Gestures aren't only helpful for persuading others, they also help us think. In a study of children, Cook et al. (2007) found that children who were encouraged to gesture while learning, retained more of what they learnt. Moving our hands may help us learn; more generally we actually seem to think with our hands.

Real life story: In 9th grade English class Mr. Chapman made me sit on my hands once while giving an answer. I couldn't get the words out. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but I kept tripping over my words. He then allowed me to release my hands. As the words flowed, my hands flew through the air.

I talk with my hands all the time. Even when I'm on the phone, one hand is moving. Various people have remarked on it over the years. And sometimes a gesture will be so amusing that I'll be asked to repeat what I said just so that I'll repeat the accompanying hand movement. The more excited or upset I am the grander the gestures.

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So Long Netflix. It was good while it lasted.

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 10:13:26 GMT

Yesterday Netflix's CEO Reed Hastings announced that Netflix would be splitting into two sites: Netflix for Streaming and Qwikster for DVDs. Hastings tries to appear humble, but just ends up sounding arrogant and pandering. I joined Netflix because of convenience and pricing. First they upped their prices, but I stuck and adjusted my rental plan. Now, they're splitting their services. So, instead of paying once for services; I'll be paying twice AND I'll have to visit two different sites. See ya Netflix. I've been thinking about getting Hulu Plus, but didn't want to pay for it and Netflix. Now that I'm rid of Netflix, I'll just shift over to Hulu Plus.

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5 Year Plan: An Epiphany

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 12:54:47 GMT

I keep hearing about the importance of making a Five Year Plan (primarily from my dad). It's something I struggle to do. And then while driving home from the grocery store this morning it hit me. My life's goals aren't tangible. I don't strive for things like social status, material wealth, or a position of power. When I'm my grandparents' age, I want to look back on a life filled with joy, freedom, and experiences. I want to have stories to tell, not money to count. That's not to say that I don't recognize the need for a certain amount of money; there are bills to pay after all. But beyond paying the bills, most of what I want doesn't cost money. And of the things I do want, what I do I really need? Family, friendship, learning, tranquility- none of these cost a dime and I already have them. I could die today with no regrets and say that I lived a fulfilling life.

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Aye, I, Aikido

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 00:15:34 GMT

Tonight was my first night of aikido. It kicked my ass in all the right ways. The class is mixed levels with the more advanced students pairing up with the n00bs to spar. Sensei demonstrated what he wanted us to do, then we were off! My first partner was Pat, a woman about my height. She walked me through the motions step-by-step and Patty also stepped in to help. I also paired up with Eric and John. Each had their own style of demonstrating, but they were all so very patient. I was a little worried that working like this with men would be an anxiety trigger, but not even a twinge! I felt challenged by the lessons, but not intimidated. It's the kind of challenge that calls you back. Looking forward to Thursday's class!

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Too Close To Home

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 00:25:05 GMT

I don't know how many of you heard about the shooting in Buckingham the night of the hurricane, but that happened down the street from where I grew up. I knew Carrie Ruehl, her mother, and her younger sister Emily. We waited at the bus stop together in elementary and middle school. Carrie was a few years ahead of me in school, but she was always nice. This kind of thing just doesn't happen in Buckingham. It's one of those wealthy, uptight suburbs. Or, at least it was. This bastard. was Carrie's ex. He shot her, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's 10 year old son down in VA. Then the fucker came up here and shot Mrs. Ruehl. Mr. Ruehl died several months ago. Now Carrie and her mom are dead. I heard about the shooting yesterday, but only today learned the victims' identities. I can't wrap my head around this one.

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Weathering The Storm

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 11:18:32 GMT

Hurricane Irene woke me around 11 last night when the power went out- my air conditioner makes a really annoying beeping noise when it shuts off. Power came back on a few minutes later, then spent the next hour blinking on and off. She made landfall in NJ not too long ago, but she seems to have weakened. So far, so good for me. But not everyone in the area has fared so well. I've had the radio on since I got up and will leave it on until this storm rolls out.

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Come On Irene

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 15:40:43 GMT

I've been humming "Come on Aileen" for the last three days, just waiting for the hurricane to hit. I've been up since 4:30am, thanks to my little Punk. She's been restless since I got home from work yesterday. Shadow, however, remains serene. We're supposed to see the worst conditions overnight tonight and into early tomorrow morning. Flooding is a big concern around here; fortunately I live in a 2nd floor apartment so don't anticipate much (if any) damage. This will be the first hurricane I've weathered alone. But! I'm stocked up on candles, batteries, and Chef Boyardee should I lose power. Cell phone is fully charged, there are fresh batteries in my radio, laundry and dishes are done, and there's a full tank of gas in the car. So, I think I'm set. Now to get ready for my step-sister's surprise 30th b-day party.

To everyone in Irene's path- STAY SAFE!

P.S. OH! Almost forgot to mention that I signed up for Aikido lessons at Bucks County Aikido. Lessons start Sept 6. Very excited!

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DUCK!

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 09:45:22 GMT

Saw this on Twitter and was overcome with giggles.

Posted by bodyguard4jandj. They are now collecting ducks from fans to add to their pool. Contact info here.

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Frelling Hormones

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 23:19:58 GMT

Sometimes I really, really hate being a woman. Generally those times fall at about the same place on the calendar every month. Most months, no biggy- get sleepy, headachey, maybe a backache. But this month? No physical symptoms. Nope. It's all emotional. I've spent the last two days ready to cry at the drop of a hat. I have no patience. I hate my job. I don't want to do anything but sleep. And I know that this'll pass in another day or two. But damn it! I want it done now. I'll take the aches if it means not feeling like this. Gah!

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And this is where I fail

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 00:37:01 GMT

Terribleminds is my favorite writing blog. I started reading it because I know Chuck from college. Terribleminds reads just like one of his lunch table rants. Equal parts amusement, crassness, and a really good fucking point. Today's post hit home and hit hard. And it's this bit that made me realize where I continually fail as a writer and why I keep hitting "writer's block".

Bleed From A Place Of Honesty

Cut your heart out of your chest, clutch it in your fist, and slam it down onto the paper. That is the real meaning of write what you know, which is probably better written as, write with total fucking honesty.

Take all that shit that lurks inside you, all your fears and wants and experiences, all your neuroses and psychoses and loves and loathings, all your hopes and dreams and memories, and inject ‘em into your work.

For fuck’s sake, say something with your fiction. Your father hit you? Spend a year homeless? Can’t get it up in bed? You’d kill a man just to walk on the beach? Use it. Use it! You have this monster-sized equation inside you, like something from one of those movie scenes where a lunatic mathematician scrawls out a nutso whiteboard full of numbers and symbols. Every part of this equation is just one more piece of you that builds up to this moment, this “you” that exists.

Bring that into your work. Feel something when you write. Find the bridge between you, the characters, and the story. Bleed on that page in a way that makes you vulnerable. I don’t care if you’re writing about vampires or space hookers or frustrated housewives, put yourself in there. I don’t mean, “be the character,” I mean, dissect all of who you are, and ejaculate your DNA into every cell of that story.

Always be telling your story, even when it’s not your story.

You’ll be amazed at how clarifying that can be.

I'm not so good at the emotional honesty thing. I have a hard enough time revealing my innermost self to people I love and trust. I'm sure as hell not going to start opening myself up to a bunch of strangers. I fear vulnerability. I had to make myself strong when I was growing up so that I could survive. The flip side to that? Fear is holding me back in personal relationships and in writing.

I stalled out on my thesis because I began exploring a relationship that almost broke me. The fear struck and I drew back. I had the handy-dandy excuses of car accident and new projects at works and too much stress. But I can't avoid this forever. Sure, I could start a totally new story. But I don't want to. I like the story that I started. I adore my spunky little protagonist. I can't let fear of my ex, my villain, hold me back. I know that logically, rationally. However, I'm having a hard time talking the rest of my brain into joining the party. So, how do I move forward from here?

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